Humor Or Humour

(Get Organized/100671) Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

Get Organized@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:15:00 -0600

Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A. When the crew gets lost in space at least the women will ask for directions.

Q. How do men get excersize at the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A. E.T. phoned home.

Q. What did God say after he created man?
A. I can do better than this.

Q. What's a man's idea of helpin with the housework?
A. Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Q. How do women define a 50/50 relationship?
A. We cook/they eat; We clean/they dirty; We iron/ they wrinkle.

Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes oneliners?
A. So men can understand them.

Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q. What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A. Government bonds mature.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q. What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
A. A hot dog and a six pack.

(KAM/100670) From Bob & Tom:

KAM@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:06:00 -0600


From Bob & Tom:

There once was a stripper named Flo
Who made money grinding her cookie on a pole
She looked down, saw a string
She pulled out the thing
And then saw her customers flow right out the door!

(IndianFan/100669) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elemen...

IndianFan@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:17:00 -0600


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

(IndianFan/100668) In time for tax season:

IndianFan@rss.iscabbs.com — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:31:00 -0600


In time for tax season:

The IRS called in a man for an audit. So, he asked his accountant for advice on
what to wear. "Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them
think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: "Don't
let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie."

Confused, the man went to his Rabbi who would surely know the correct answer.
He told him of the conflicting advice he had received, and asked what he should
do.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married,
asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother advised, 'Wear a
heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks.'
But when the woman asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: 'Wear
your sexiest negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.'"

The man did not understand: "But Rabbi, what does all this have to do with my
problem with the IRS?" "It doesn't matter what you wear," replied the Rabbi,
"You're going to get screwed."

(PsychoSy/100667) An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All tests come back with...

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 22:00:00 -0600

An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All tests come back with normal
results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing
mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

George replies, "Awww yeah! God and I are tight, Doc. He knows I got poor
eyesight, but he's fixed it. So when I get in up in the middle of the night to
go to the bathroom - poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, Poof! The light
goes out."

"Wow, that's incredible," says the doctor.

Later that day, the doctor calls George's wife.

"Ethel," he says, "George is doing great, but I had to call you because I'm in
awe of his relationship with God! Is it true that he gets up during the night
and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the
light goes out?"

"SONOFABITCH!", Ethel hissed. "He's pissin' in the fridge again!"

(Get Organized/100666) The Top 10 Least-Used Kitchen Appliances:

Get Organized@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 09:06:00 -0600

The Top 10 Least-Used Kitchen Appliances:

 10. Frigiderriere
  9. Doorless Microwave
  8. Electric Combination
     Slicer/Dicer/Dispose-of-the-Body-in-the-River Machine
  7. Glock 9mm Drive-By Salad Shooter
  6. Cat Compactor
  5. Betty Crocker "EZ" Crystal Meth Cooker
  4. Baby's First Microwave
  3. Ronco Ice Cream Steamer
  2. Popeil's Turkey Baster/Home Enema Kit

  ... and the Number 1 Least-Used Kitchen Appliance:
  1. Frozen Squidsickle Maker
------------------------------------------------------------------

The Top 10 Reasons Americans are Overweight:

 10. Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day,
     there's no time to exercise!
  9. "Girl Scout Cookie Dough" gets better tasting every year.
  8. The colossal failure of "Salad King" drive-thru chain.
  7. Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.
  6. Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon
     cheeseburger/chili fries combo is a healthy meal.
  5. Americans still unconvinced that it's not really butter.
  4. Part of our country's defense strategy:
     Asses too large to be kicked.
  3. Slim Fast shakes taste much better with a scoop of
     Ben & Jerry's in 'em.
  2. One word: Sprinkles

  ... and the Number 1 Reason Americans are Overweight:
  1. "Did somebody say McDonald's?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Top 10 Rejected Campbell's Soup Varieties:

10. Dan Quayle's Harty Potatoe Soop
 9. Exorcist Split Pea Soup
 8. Matzoh Ball, Ham 'n' Hebrew Alphabet Noodles
 7. Wonderbroth!
 6. Manhattan Phlegm Chowder
 5. Hearty Booger Bonanza
 4. Stars 'n' Swastikas
 3. Porn Chowder
 2. Pigeon 'n' Carp flavored Cup-O-Gruel

 ... and the Number 1 Rejected Campbell's Soup Variety:
 1. Chunky Liver with Fava Beans

(Cyanide/100665) Old Man And The Beaver

Cyanide@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 04:54:00 -0600

Old Man And The Beaver

An  86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,
"Things are great and I've never felt better.  I now have a 20 year-old
bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that
Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a
story.  "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season.

One day he was setting off to go hunting.  In a bit of a hurry, he
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.  As he neared
a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge..
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the
magnificent creature.  Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the
animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor..

The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

(Tom Brady/100664) After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wi...

Tom Brady@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 03:25:00 -0600

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and
said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed
and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a
hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large
screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that
you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-
year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a
cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch
black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.

(IndianFan/100663) The Blind Cashier A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and ...

IndianFan@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 04:10:00 -0600


The Blind Cashier   A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one
and goes over to the counter.  The clerk was standing behind the counter
wearing dark shades.  She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me
anything about this rod and reel?"  He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but
if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it
makes."She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......He says,
"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404reel and 10-LB.
test line.  It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for
only $20.00."She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the
sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her
credit card drops on the floor."Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. 
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.  At first she is really
embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell
it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only
person around?  The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and
reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"He replies, "Yes, ma'am.
The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait
is $3.50."She paid it and left without saying a word.

(Aightball/100662) From a friend:

Aightball@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:58:00 -0600

From a friend:

Wild Bill was excited about his new 338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting.
He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after
there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I'm
going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
After considering briefly, Wild Bill decided to accept the latter alternative.

So the black bear had his way with Wild Bill. Even though he felt sore for two
weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to
Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was
another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to
him.
The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Wild Bill. That bear was my cousin
and you've got two choices : Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Wild Bill thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than
be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Wild Bill. Although he
survived, it took several months before Wild Bill fully recovered.

Now Wild Bill was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed
to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then,
moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder.

He turned around to find giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Wild Bill, you don't come here
for the hunting, do you?

(Indigo/100661) One Texas college students got a "0" on his exam....I think he s...

Indigo@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:29:00 -0600

One Texas college students got a "0" on his exam....I think he should have
gotten an A+

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

.... Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and
three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take
four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack

(Angus Young/100660) That reminds me of a Demetri Martin joke:

Angus Young@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:37:00 -0600

That reminds me of a Demetri Martin joke:
"I was at a party recently and I found out that there's a big difference
between peeing in the pool and peeing 'into' the pool...
location, location, location.."

(LongTimeLurker/100659) Today I learned that there is a -big- difference between rubbing...

LongTimeLurker@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:18:00 -0600


Today I learned that there is a -big- difference between rubbing lotion on
yourself, and rubbing yourself with lotion

(Vlad Tepes/100658) i wish someone would fix the dates on that 12 days of christmas ...

Vlad Tepes@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 08:20:00 -0600

i wish someone would fix the dates on that 12 days of christmas joke. they have
it ending on the 25th when it starts on the 25th.

(Gespalder/100657) http://www.make4fun.com/stories/Christmas-jokes/7553-12-Days-of-...

Gespalder@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 09:08:00 -0600

http://www.make4fun.com/stories/Christmas-jokes/7553-12-Days-of-Christmas,-A-Le
tter

12 Days of Christmas, A Letter

Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 14

Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
What a thoroughly delightful gift!B B  I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and devotion, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 15

Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - Two Turtle
Doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 16

Dearest John: Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I
don't deserve such generosity - Three French Hens! They are just delightful,
but I must insist, you've been too kind. Love, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 17

Dearest John:
Today the postman delivered Four Calling Birds. Now really, you're being too
romantic. They are beautiful, but don't you think that enough is enough?
Affectionately, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 18

Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered Five Golden Rings - one for each
finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds
squawking were beginning to get on my nerves. Love, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 19

Dear John: When I opened the door, there were actually Six Geese-A-Laying on my
front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge.
Where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through
the racket. Please stop. Cordially, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 20

John: What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven Swans-A-Swimming! What
kind of a goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they
never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck -
it's not funny. So stop with those fucking birds!
Sincerely, Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 21

OK Buster!
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 Maids a
Milking? It's not enough with all these birds and maids a milking, but they had
to bring their goddamn cows! There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in
my own house. Just lay off me, smartass! Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 22

Hey Shithead:
What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine Pipers Piping! And Christ
do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The
cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds.
What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me!
You'll get yours! Agnes


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 23

You Rotten Prick!
Now there's Ten Ladies Dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies.
They've been balling those pipers all night long. The cows can't sleep and
they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of
buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be
condemned. I'm siccing the police on you. One who means it!!


Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 24

Listen Fuckhead:
What's with the Eleven Lords a Leaping on those Maids and Ladies? Some of those
broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been
committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 birds are dead, they've been trampled
to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you vicious, rotten swine. Your
sworn enemy, Agnes


Law Offices
Badger, Bender & Cajole
303 Knave Street
Chicago, Ill.
December 25

 Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of the Twelve Drummers
Drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Agnes
McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All future correspondence
should be sent to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss
McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot
on sight! With this letter you will find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially, Badger, Bender & Cajole

(River Rat/100656) I like the 3 or 4 one, He gets on that first one for miss-spelli...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 08:31:00 -0600

I like the 3 or 4 one, He gets on that first one for miss-spelling and then he
goes and miss-spells a word himself in another letter.

(Six Gun/100655) IF SANTA CLAUS ANSWERED HIS MAIL HONESTLY

Six Gun@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 03:59:00 -0600


IF SANTA CLAUS ANSWERED HIS MAIL HONESTLY

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv bena gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,

BiLLy


Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send
you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older
brother the space ranger.

At least HE can spell!

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy
in the world for everybody!

Love,

Sarah


Dear Sarah,

You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and
daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Teddy


Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do
you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your fat mom, who rides his
ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice
Lago's instead.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a
pony and a tuba.

Love,

Francis


Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.

Love,

Susan


Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in
the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I really want a go-kart for Christmas. Would you please bring me one that is
yellow with a green stripe? Thanks.

Love,

Luke


Dear Luke,

Let me give you a history lesson, kid. Two years ago, I brought you a bike. You
crashed it into a dumpster and knocked out two of your teeth. Last year, I gave
you a skateboard. You fell off of that, and ended up breaking your wrist. I
don't think your mom's health insurance plan can handle anymore trips to the
emergency room for you. This year, I'm bringing you a wheelchair. At the rate
you're going, you'll need it.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,

Thomas


Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of
my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps
table.

Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in
the song?

Love,

Jessica


Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your
house.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--


Dear Santa,

I would like you to please bring me a pet hamster for Christmas. I have other
things on my list, but I'd REALLY want a hamster. Could you please bring me
one?

Love,

Corey


Dear Corey,

Do you remember what happened the last time I gave you pets for Christmas? Both
the goldfish and the parakeet were dead within a month? If I give you any more
animals as gifts, I'm going to have those nut-jobs from P.E.T.A. all over my
ass. How about I bring you something that you can't kill? Like socks.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really
really want a fire truck this year!

Love,

Joey


Dear Joey,

Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll
have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than
me. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Michelle


Dear Michelle,

It blows my fucking mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of
dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed brats are even
learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed, like
"Chutes and Ladders."

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?

Timmy


Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work
with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dear Santa,

Would you please bring me a new XBox 360, and a whole bunch of games to play on
it?

Aaron


Dear Aaron,

Do you really think your folks want me to give you another reason to sit in
front of the television all day long? Neither do I. Why don't you get your
chubby ass off the couch, and go play outside for a change. If you lose some of
your baby fat, maybe your friends will stop calling you "Lard-Butt" behind your
back.

Santa


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,

Marky


Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do,
through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa

(KAM/100654) Chat conversation just now:

KAM@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 11:42:00 -0600


Chat conversation just now:


MaryB: you know kevin men are strange
KevinF: Yes, Kevin men are kind of strange, but not as strange as Frank men.
MaryB: huh?

(LaMont Sanford/100653) Hi ass bad joke makers

LaMont Sanford@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 07:25:00 -0600


Hi ass bad joke makers

(Nikes/100652) His lesbian sister actually gets out first. She ran lickety-spli...

Nikes@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:16:00 -0600

His lesbian sister actually gets out first. She ran lickety-split.

(River Rat/100651) Two gays living in a house. One is top and one is bottom.

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:47:00 -0600

Two gays living in a house.  One is top and one is bottom.
The house catches on fire.  Which one gets out first?






























The bottom one, he already has his shit packed.

(Mean Mr Mustard/100650) Q. What do you get for the pedophile who has everything?

Mean Mr Mustard@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:42:00 -0600

Q. What do you get for the pedophile who has everything?

A. His own congregation.

(Mean Mr Mustard/100649) A nun walks into a liquor store and picks up a bottle of whiskey...

Mean Mr Mustard@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:06:00 -0600


A nun walks into a liquor store and picks up a bottle of whiskey.  The store
owner says, "And what'll you be doing with that, Sister?" to which the nun
replies, "It's for Mother Superior's constipation."

"Well, then," says the proprietor, "that's all right."

Come closing time, the proprietor's closing up shop, and on the sidewalk he
sees the nun, plastered drunk in the gutter.

"Sister!" he cries.  "I thought you told me that whiskey was for Mother
Superior's constipation!"

"Oh, it is!" warbles the nun.  "When the old bat sees me like this, she's
going to shit!"

(River Rat/100648) Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:04:00 -0600

 Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
                -- Lao Tsu

(River Rat/100647) BOOK ...Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent th...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:03:00 -0600

BOOK   ...Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than
        dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York,
        wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck
        about in the water having a good time. But conversely the
        dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for
        precisely the same reasons.

(River Rat/100646) http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/yahoos-mailer-daemon-automate...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 01:19:00 -0600

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/yahoos-mailer-daemon-automated-reply-for-fai
led-e-mail-delivery-is-getting-a-little-too-intimate

http://tinyurl.com/6mx32wf

(River Rat/100645) 10 things I know about you :)...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:22:00 -0600

10 things I know about you :)...

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter''P''without separating your lips...

4) You just attempted to do it

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5

8) You just checked to see if there is a No.5

9) You laugh at this because everyone does it too.:D

10) You're probably going to send this to see who else falls for it..

(Distant Horizon/100644) Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome...

Distant Horizon@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:46:00 -0600

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each
with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the
other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled
it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down
the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and
made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off,
and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

(Aightball/100643) http://www.kcci.com/slideshow/money/29351648/detail.html

Aightball@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:54:00 -0600

http://www.kcci.com/slideshow/money/29351648/detail.html

Ad slogans that translated poorly. NN/WS, mostly new ones (to me at least). A
good laugh, either way.

(KAM/100642) Headline on AOL News...

KAM@rss.iscabbs.com — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 23:21:00 -0600


Headline on AOL News...

Healthy Living: Man Dies After Accidentally Receiving Execution Drug

(Tom Brady/100641) My favorite Robert Wagner tweet:

Tom Brady@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:13:00 -0600

My favorite Robert Wagner tweet:

@PeytonsHead (Peyton's Head)
Boat captain claims Robert Wagner is responsible for Natalie Wood's 1981 death.
Asked why he waited 30 yrs, he said he told Joe Paterno.

(Secretary/100640) "Robert Wagner asked his wife Natalie Wood, "Do you want to show...

Secretary@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:44:00 -0600


"Robert Wagner asked his wife Natalie Wood, "Do you want to shower on the
boat?" Natalie Wood replied, "No, I'll just wash up on shore.""
        @RealGilbert (Gilbert Gottfried)
        13 hours ago via web

(The Brahma Bull/100639) A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor c...

The Brahma Bull@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 11:26:00 -0600

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when
a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she
thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his
arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you
screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she
was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she
screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

(IndianFan/100638) The problems we face today exist because the people who work for...

IndianFan@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:19:00 -0600


The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are
outnumbered by those who vote for a living.

(River Rat/100637) Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitiv...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:05:00 -0500

Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you
really want to get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!

                                             -- Betty White

(Wasted Youth/100636) Lawyers = turds

Wasted Youth@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:54:00 -0500

Lawyers = turds
beach = sandbox

(KAM/100635) Never owned a cat?

KAM@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:28:00 -0500


Never owned a cat?

(River Rat/100634) I don't get this.

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 03:07:00 -0500

I don't get this.

 Q:     Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
 A:     The cats keep trying to bury them.

(River Rat/100631) What do birds give out for halloween?

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 15:16:00 -0500

What do birds give out for halloween?
























Tweets!

(River Rat/100630) Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:59:00 -0500

Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

(River Rat/100629) The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 08:55:00 -0500

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

(Danix/100628) Series on Google Doodles we'll never see. These ones are pretty ...

Danix@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 07:00:00 -0500

Series on Google Doodles we'll never see. These ones are pretty good:

http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/In-Pictures/Google-Doodles-you-ll-
never-see2/%28photo%29/377936
(guaranteed to make millions of designers scream at once)

http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/In-Pictures/Google-Doodles-you-ll-
never-see2/%28photo%29/379781
(guaranteed to make billions of Office users scream at once)

(Lammam P Yrruf/100625) The bartender replies "Sorry, but we don't serve particles fater...

Lammam P Yrruf@rss.iscabbs.com — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:57:00 -0500

The bartender replies "Sorry, but we don't serve particles fater than light."

A neutrino walks into a bar.

(River Rat/100624) 92% Of Americans say " oh ****" before going into a ditch.. the ...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 10:34:00 -0500

92% Of Americans say " oh ****" before going into a ditch.. the other 8% are
from Texas and we say "hold my beer and watch this ****"!

(Two Minute Hate/100621) Steve Jobs walks into a bar.

Two Minute Hate@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 05:00:00 -0500


 Steve Jobs walks into a bar.

 His liver explodes and he slowly drowns to death on his own bile.

(Get Organized/100620) While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult as...

Get Organized@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 07:57:00 -0500

While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of
giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to
give four-year-old Theodora her shot.

"NO! NO! NO!" she screamed.

"Theodora," her mother scolded. "That's not polite behavior."

At that, the girl yelled even louder, "NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK
YOU!"

------------------------------------------------------------------
"Don't talk to me about compulsory vaccination!" exclaimed the

man named Teddie who had his arm in a sling. "I'm sore on that subject."

(River Rat/100619) Boy: " I love you. "

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 19:20:00 -0500

Boy: " I love you. "
Girl: "Prove it,, Scream it to the world! "
Boy: "whispers in her ear... "I love you!"
Girl:" why did you whisper it to me ?
Boy: Because your my world. " b%

(Pass this on if you love or is crushing on someone)

Sometimes all it takes is a whisper to know ...

(Okracoke/100618) http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100105725/rogu...

Okracoke@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 17:57:00 -0500

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100105725/rogue-trader-in-38-
6-billion-green-jobs-fraud/

"Rogue trader in $38.6 billion 'green jobs' fraud"

A rogue trader at one of the world's largest banks (USA Inc., second in
economic power only to China Inc.) has been exposed as the biggest fraudster in
the history of mankind. The fraud . conservatively estimated at $38.6 billion,
though others believe it could be at least 20 times bigger once his secret
trading accounts in a file mysteriously marked "Stimulus Package" are fully
investigated . comfortably exceeds the paltry $2.3 billion losses run up by UBS
trader Kweku Adoboli.

Though full details of the Uber Rogue Trader . known only by his initials B.O.
.. have yet to be released, he is believed to be either of Hawaiian or Kenyan
birth, with a plausible speaking manner and a deceptive aura of competence and
gravitas. He is said to be "coolly unrepentant" about his crime, which, he
claims, he was only doing to provide "hope and change" to his 200 million
victims.

The fraud appears to have centred around an arcane taxpayer-swindling system
first devised by Kenneth Lay of Enron known as "Clean tech" or "green jobs."
B.O. . who joined the bank in January 2009 . is believed to have persuaded
colleagues and shareholders that he could boost the institution's flagging
profits by spending $38.6 billion on a "loan guarantee program" for clean tech
start up companies. He also claimed that in the process he would create "65,000
jobs".

Correctly anticipating that in the open market no one would actually want to
buy such overpriced, economically inefficient energy as solar or wind, B.O. hit
on the ingenious scam of ramping up demand by spreading misleading rumours. He
persuaded high-placed friends at institutions including NASA, the EPA and the
IPCC to promote junk-science data grotesquely exaggerating the dangers of
carbon based energy and the benefits of "renewable" energy. BO then poured sums
of up to half a billion dollars into Ponzi schemes . aka Green Tech . run by
sympathetic friends.

Unfortunately, the scam was exposed when one of B.O's Green Tech Ponzi schemes
.. a solar energy company called Solyndra . collapsed with losses which could
cost USA shareholders as much as $527 million. Two other solar companies in
B.O's Green Tech Ponzi scheme have also folded: Evergreen Solar, Inc and
SpectraWatt.

The 65,000 "green jobs" B.O. promised . reduced from an initial figure of "five
million green jobs" he promised when applying for his job at the bank . have
failed to materialize. So far, just 3,545 new permanent jobs have been created.

And the cost to the bank's shareholders of each job, so far? $5.4 million per
job.

Investigators of the Green Jobs fraud are now following several leads which
suggest the crime may be global in scale, embracing a flamehaired socialist at
Ozbank,almost every member of every bank in Portugal, Spain, German and
Denmark, and, at Britbank, a patrician conspiracy including an Old Etonian CEO,
his landowning father-in-law, and the bank's blue-blooded future chairman.

(Gespalder/100617) Sex After Death

Gespalder@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 17:30:00 -0500

Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
The other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no
Afterlife.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his
Word he made contact,
"Connie....Connie. ."

"Is that you, Joe?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?" Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have
Breakfast, off
To the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex
Twice.
I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty
Much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until
Late at night. The next day it starts again."
Oh, Joe you surely must be in heaven."
Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."

(Get Organized/100616) Q. Why should bigots be buried twenty feet underground instead o...

Get Organized@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 07:37:00 -0500

Q. Why should bigots be buried twenty feet underground instead of the usual
  six?
A. Because deep down they're nice people.

Q. What's black and brown and looks great on a bigot?
A. A pack of dobermans.

Q: What's the difference between a bigot and a nail?
A: One needs to be hammered relentlessly on the head, the other holds wood
together.

Q: What has 200 feet, is 50 yards long & has an IQ of 10?
A  Neoconservatives on the march.

(PsychoSy/100615) NEWSFLASH: Samuel L. Jackson To Start "Angry Black Man" Licensin...

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 05:37:00 -0500

NEWSFLASH: Samuel L. Jackson To Start "Angry Black Man" Licensing Business

Won't Charge "Punkass Obama" To Be First "Gawd Damned Muthafuckin' Client" ...

(Okracoke/100614) What is the difference between the Obama Administration and a wh...

Okracoke@rss.iscabbs.com — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 15:44:00 -0500

What is the difference between the Obama Administration and a whorehouse?

You don't feel as dirty when you leave a whorehouse!

(River Rat/100613) Got up this morning and ran around the block 4 times! then I got...

River Rat@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 15:15:00 -0500

Got up this morning and ran around the block 4 times! then I got tired, so i
picked it up and put it back in the toy box!

(Okracoke/100612) A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is mo...

Okracoke@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 09:35:00 -0500

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly,
a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar
ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on
fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "About a gallon

(Vlad Tepes/100611) The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Vlad Tepes@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 05:34:00 -0500

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every
day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult
for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who
will be a reflection of My love for you, so that you will love Me even when you
cannot see Me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be,
this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in
spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I
cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of My love for
you, his name will be a reflection of My own name, and you will call him DOG.'


And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.



After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord,
Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.. They strut and preen like peacocks
and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that
they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who
will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations,
so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.


And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they
were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.


And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.



And God was pleased . . .

And Dog was happy. . .





And Cat didn't give a darn one way or the other...

(Ebauchon/100610) I assume it has nuts in it??

Ebauchon@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 21:46:00 -0500

I assume it has nuts in it??

(King Action/100609) So, uh... Ben & Jerry's now has a limited edition "Schweddy Ball...

King Action@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 07:10:00 -0500


So, uh... Ben & Jerry's now has a limited edition "Schweddy Balls" flavor:

http://www.benjerry.com/flavors/feature/schweddy/

(Nikes/100608) Taken from Willie Nelson's character "Uncle Jessie" in the Dukes...

Nikes@rss.iscabbs.com — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 06:05:00 -0500

Taken from Willie Nelson's character "Uncle Jessie" in the Dukes of Hazzard
movie:

Q: Why are divorces so expensive?
A: BECAUSE THEY'RE WORTH IT!

(Get Organized/100607) Sarah Palin will be speaking at the World KNOWLEDGE Forum next m...

Get Organized@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 10:29:00 -0500

Sarah Palin will be speaking at the World KNOWLEDGE Forum next month.

(PsychoSy/100606) Cletus T. Yankeebeater reads a NYT Best Seller "You Are The Man ...

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 23:17:00 -0500

Cletus T. Yankeebeater reads a NYT Best Seller "You Are The Man Of Your House!"
by Willey, Maykit, & Howe and loved it so much, he decides to put some of its
advice into practice. So before retiring for the night, he storms into the bed
room and tells Mrs. Yankeebeater, "From now on, you need to know that I am the
man of the house. My word is LAW. You *WILL* cook and clean for me. You *WILL*
go upstairs and give me the kind of sex I'm deserving and entitled to. After
that, you *WILL* draw my bath, wash my back, and massage my feet. Oh, and I'll
give you three guesses who is going to dress me and comb my hair tomorrow
morning?!?"

Mrs. Yankeebeater smiled sweetly and said, "I only need one guess, dear."

"Who?!?", Cletus demanded.

"The funeral director," she replied.

(KAM/100605) The Weather Channel says the earthquake was caused by an unknown...

KAM@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 20:34:00 -0500


The Weather Channel says the earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line
running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called "Obama's
Fault". Some think it was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves!
Obama will say it's really Bush's fault. .. and in Breaking News: Seismologists
have confirmed that it WAS an earthquake and NOT the 14.6 trillion dollar check
bouncing on the East Coast.

(JuggernautXL/100604) Joke, it was not gotten!!

JuggernautXL@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 11:21:00 -0500

Joke, it was not gotten!!

(Paladin Grendel/100603) A janitor, a bookie, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

Paladin Grendel@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 03:03:00 -0500

A janitor, a bookie, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
the bartender says "what, is this a joke?"

a maid, a scribe and a priest walk into a tavern. 40 orcs yawn
A Custodian, a Librarian, and a Chaplain walk into a tavern. 40 Orks die in
seconds

(PsychoSy/100602) From BBC Radio ...

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 06:09:00 -0500

From BBC Radio ...

----
Prime Minister David Cameron has gone back to court to obtain actions that will
be served to convicted rioters. These actions will cause the eviction of the
rioters families as well as the termination of welfare payments. Prime Minister
Cameron says, "They should have thought of this before they were caught
burgling".
----

[PM Cameron Morphs Into Freddie Mercury]*

Heeeeeere we are ...
Born to be kings
We're the assholes of the universe
Here we belong
Fighting to survive
In a world with the bankers' powers

YEAH-HEH-HEAH!!

And here we are
We're the assholes of the universe
Here we belong
Fighting for survival ...
We've come to be the rulers of you all

[Cue footage of bailed out banker]

I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings

[Quick Pan To Cameron flashing gang signs]

Yeah - Yeah!

[Back to bailed out banker]

I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of you all

[Pan To Cameron mulching up poor in a woodchipper to Brian May's shredding
riff]

Born to be kings
Assholes of the universe
Fighting and free
Got your world in my hand
I'm here for your votes
As I primp and grandstand
We were born to be
Assholes of the universe ...

(PsychoSy/100568) Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in...

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Tue, 24 May 2011 13:16:00 -0500

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age
and older on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing
unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the
SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been
RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering
Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED
as many times as Congress deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could
get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings
for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any
further by Congress. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive
as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always
prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel
that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your
Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil,
as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has
been turned off.

(PsychoSy/100536) OBAMA RELEASE WORRIES "PAWN STAR" CAST

PsychoSy@rss.iscabbs.com — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:23:00 -0500

OBAMA RELEASE WORRIES "PAWN STAR" CAST
---------------------------------------
LAS VEGAS(AP) -- The release of President Obama's long form birth certificate
has the cast of History Channel's hit show worried about the shows prospects
past 2012 when an outgoing Obama Administration could very well overtake the
cast.

"It's pretty scary," winced Rick Harrison, "I mean, for an American President
to stoop so low and release his long form birth certificate under the false
rubric of not wanting distractions when his re-election hinges on it wiping
Brad Manning and other embarrasssments off the news cycle and keeping the
Birthers on it for the next year or so," he sighs, "That's a level of stupidity
that makes Chumlee look like a Rhodes Scholar."

"Oh my gawd," replied the gruff but lovable "Old Man", palming his own face.

(Aightball/100526) 7 Unintentionally Erotic Church Signs:

Aightball@rss.iscabbs.com — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:07:00 -0500

7 Unintentionally Erotic Church Signs:

http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/12/unintentionally-sexual-church-signs